My Pants... They are Aflame
In the lantern light like a silhouette stands a gangly figure emitting frosty puffs of breath. You gage him to be Moses Rehoboam, a disallusioned teacher/nature enthusiast that stumbled upon the dojo some five years ago, when you were just barely into your teens. Although he's quite the gentleman, he has a reknowned discomfort talking about women and women's "needs," something you decide to exploit.
Boldly, you give up stealth and approach Moses openly, jogging lightly to give the impression that you're in a hurry.
"Moses! Hey!" You call softly. He turns to you surprised.
"Oh, it's you. Hello there," he says, then grows more suspicious. "What are you doing outside this late at night?"
Going for broke, you grab the shoulders of his suit and lean him into you conspiritorily. "Don't spread this around," you say confidentially, "but me and my friend Setsa were hiding out in the Inner Gardens when, oh, how shall I put it..."
Moses starts to get an inkling of what's going on, and you feel his shoulders tense.
"...It's her 'time of the month.'" you finish.
Moses frowns behind his mask.
"That doesn't have anything to do with why you're here. Aren't there... erm... supplies upstairs?"
"Not enough," you reply, "It turns out Setsa's time hit right as we clean ran out of 'stuff' upstairs. We've got some downstairs, and--"
Throwing your voice, you place a feminine moan a fair distance away. Moses blanches.
"Oh, man!" you cry.
"She can't hold it much longer! I gotta get down to the basement, Moses!"
Moses practically breaks the sound barrier getting the door open. The basement is yours.
As you start down the steps, you turn to him one more time.
"Oh, and Moses," you say, "Setsa's kind of embarassed about all this fuss, so..."
"Nobody needs to know. Got it. Now... please go."
The door closes behind you and your extremes start un-numbing themselves. A long hallway lit with several fat candles lies before you. Your journey to the Master's chamber is half-way complete. But be careful; that little tampon trick won't work again.
Written by Mr.Peaches on 30 July 2006
