Nothing But A Shield... Heh! Like These Jokes Have Anything On Me!
You decide you have to help him out. You immediately search yourself for weapons, in hopes that you'll have something to deal high damage with, but it looks like you're going to have to fight bare-handed. You sigh, knowing you won't come out unscathed after this. However, you are suddenly hit by a spark of inspiration. You turn to the head of the boat, knowing it could speak.
"Excuse me, King of Red Lions? You wouldn't happen to have anything on board I could use to defend myself with would you?" You ask politely. The talking boat's head swiveled around to look at you as it spoke.
"I'm afraid I only have with me a spare shield the young lad named Link left when he set off to explore a cave he discovered on this Island. He hasn't left behind any weapons." He says. You smile though.
"A shield is good enough. Sometimes the best defense is the best offense." You reply. "Where is it?" The King nods approvingly at your words before responding.
"Wise words, young one. The shield is in the storage box in back. Allow me to unlock it for you." He said. His head swiveled back around to face forward, and you heard something click behind you. You turn around to find a box opening up of its own accord in the back of the living boat. You look inside to find a Hylian Shield stored within. You reach in and retrieve the essential defensive accessory. You see the shield is made to fit the right arm; typical, seeing as Link is left-handed. Still, you find the shield's orientation to be in your benefit, as it is the only thing at the moment you can attack with. Being right-handed, your attacks with the shield will be stronger, and possibly damage, rather than just stun enemies. You equip it with less than professional efficiency, and step off the boat, onto the island. You slightly turn your head when the King speaks to you once again.
"Be careful young one, I wouldn't want any innocent lives lost to the Dark Lord or his minions." He says in concern. You laugh, but keep your eye on the Chu-Chus assaulting the merman, seeing as how you appear to have drawn their attention.
"You've gotta be kidding! Gannondorf and his minions are nothing short of a joke, as long as you know how to deal with them. And I more than qualify for that." You tell him, taking one of the approaching blobs of jelly by the base and swinging it like a club at the others, dealing well enough damage to suit your needs. Blowing the first wave of Chus away, you slam your weaponized Chu into the ground and take its final breath by jamming the pointed bottom of your shield into its eye, effectively ending its life. Of course, Gannons dark magic will resurrect the minions sooner or later, you think to yourself as you look at the dark cloud of black magic that accompanies the deaths of any of Gannons minions.
"Hmm... Such a creative fighting style. Using the enemy against themselves! Truly brilliant! I must make sure to inform Link of this style of fighting. Surely it will come in useful for the lad." The King admires from behind you. You tune him out as you focus on the rest of the monsters attacking the helpless merman. He won't be so helpless for long! You think as you sprint towards the joke's end of Gannondorf's minions. You reach the first of them, and ram yourself into it, shield first, managing to crush it to death thanks to the element of surprise. While you still have it, you rush on to take the next one out of the remaining five out. You use the sharpened edge of the shield to cut the one next to you in two, effectively making it down for the count. In a fluid transition from that kill to the next, you swing your shielded arm back around and jam the three spikes on the top of the shield into the face of the Chu behind you. That's three down, three to go, and now the Element of surprise is gone. One of the three left leaps at you trying hit you, but becomes the unfortunate victim of your "Enemy Weaponization" as you grab it's base, step out of its path, and use its momentum to knock the other two senseless. Seriously, you saw their eyeballs fly out of their bodies. Well, at least it didn't look gross or anything. Shortly after the blow you gave them, they exploded into the expected cloud of black magic. Knowing the only Chu-Chu left was the one you weaponized, you executed said monster on the spot. That was way too easy. Satisfied the monsters were taken care of, you turn to the one they were terrorizing.
"Hey, are you alright?" You ask him. He looks up and seems surprised to see you.
"Wait, you're not the Hero!" The merman said. You roll your eyes at him.
"Tell me something I don't know." You retort. The guy comes to his senses quickly, and points behind you out at the sea shakily.
"It's a trap!" He shouts, making you think of Admiral Akbar from Star Wars. You would have laughed at how similar the two were (Squid headed militian, and the half-fish, half-human guy who just stole his line) if it weren't for the meaning behind those words.
"I guess that's something." You say, turning around to look, but you don't see anything yet. I knew this was too easy. You thought. You wait in anticipation as a storm brews over the Great Sea. What lies in wait for you in the sea?
Written by GameHero on 15 January 2014
The end (for now)