You are standing by a tree
There are 3 paths.
One appears to go to a jungle,
one appears to go to a cave,
one appears to go to a beach,
you could try and climb the tree,
there is a nearby shop you could go in,
or you could do something else.
So what's its going to be?
Written by catprog on 01 April 2003
In the shop
There is a table with a sign saying
<strong>Free Sample:</strong>
Take one
On the table there is a fridge with a range of liquids. Also on the table are various magical trinkets including costumes. What would you like to take, or would you like to buy something?
Written by catprog on 10 April 2003
Other
You decide to get something else. But what?
Written by catprog on 13 December 2005
A lamp
You take a lamp. Now what are you going to do with it?
Written by catprog on 05 March 2004
Rub the lamp Version 2
Just then, a huge puff of green smoke appears.
The smoke forms the shape of a humanoid, then finally materializes into a turquoise-skinned man who appears to be about 25 years old. You quiver with fear, staring at him (after all, you're not used to seeing turquoise-skinned men appear out of lamps).
"Who has rubbed my lamp" the man asks in a light, yet stern voice.
"I-I did", you answer softly.
He steps closer to you and bows. "Thank You, Master, Thank You!", he says as he kneels to you.
"Master?"
He stands. "Yes", he says. "You have released me from the Lamp, and now you may have as many wishes as you want. The wishes carry certain limitations, however..."
"Yes, like what?", you ask again, almost bursting with excitement (having your own genie and all).
"First, you may only make a wish once every hour. Second, all wishes must remain in effect for at least 24 hours. Third, all wishes made by the master should be precisely worded.
If the wish is too vague, then I shall choose the remaining factors of the wish. Forth, I can not kill or bring someone back from the dead.
Finally I can not make anyone fall in love with someone else"
Well what are you going to wish for?
Written by on 04 August 2004
There's no business like monkey business
You scratch your head and ponder. Unlimited wishes? "Well I'll be a monkey's uncle!" you exclaim.
The genie ponders for a moment and bows. "Granted. See you in an hour." And with that he is gone, just like that.
Now what was that about? After a speech like that you had expected some fancy bibbity-boo stuff. And what exactly was granted? You didn't make a wish... or did you?
You pick up the lamp and rub it again, but all that comes out is a small puff of green smoke that congeals into a set of glowing digits. They last just long enough for you to realize that they are counting down from an hour. Another attempt produces blue digits that seem to be stuck at 23:59. Counting down from a day?
If you didn't know better (come to think of it, you don't) you would say you just made a wish, and the first clock is counting down the time left to the next one, and the other shows how long the wish will last. Only you didn't make a wish.. or did you?
You find the shopkeeper, explain what happened and ask what he thinks. He strokes his beard thoughtfully and asks: "What exactly did you say?"
"I think it was 'I'll be a monkey's uncle' or something like that. What...?"
"And do you have any married siblings?"
Your heart sinks as you realize the implications of his innocent question. Pausing only to toss the lamp into a basket of stuff nearby, you rush out of the store and make a beeline for your brother's house a couple of blocks up the road. As you pass out of earshot, you hear the shopkeeper mumble "I take that as a 'yes'..."
Bailing over the back fence for the final shortcut, you arrive in the back garden just in time to hear a woman screaming and some noises you last heard when you visited the zoo. It's a warm day and the patio door is open, so you run straight into the sitting room and stop dead as you see you sister-in-law standing in the kitchen door with a panicked expression. She was the one you heard screaming, and the cause is obvious when you turn to see what she is staring at.
Over in the corner, surrounded by a pile of your niece's favorite toys, sits a small chimpanzee child - a girl, from the look of it - looking curiously at the screaming woman and the panting man. She looks quite different from the last time you saw her, but putting all the factors together there is only one explanation. After all, the genie never said the effect of your 'wishes' would be limited to your person.
"Hot dog!" you mutter to yourself. "I am a monkey's uncle!"
Written by Won-Tolla on 26 July 2007
Thank You, Mister Exposition!
"You!" the upset mother snaps. "What is the meaning of this?"
Great, you think as you stagger into the room and collapse in a chair, the fast run finally catching up with you. She's gone from fear to anger. If only it wasn't directed at you.
Trying to catch your breath, you realize that Tinsel (her name was Tina something before she got married, and the first syllables or each names made an interesting combination) must have finished the denial phase before you got here - or does that one come later?
"You won't believe the day I've had," you gasp as your pulse approaches normal level.
"I'll believe yours if you'll believe mine!"
"Would you believe there's a magic store right down the road?"
"Actually..." Tinsel enunciates slowly, "I think I can honestly say the thought had not occurred to me in my wildest dreams!"
"Well I happened to pick up a magic lamp," you explain. "And I said something the genie took for a wish."
"Well I'll be a monkey's uncle!"
"Precisely."
"What?"
"That's what I said."
Tinsel sighs. "How can two brothers be as different as you and my husband? Are you a changeling or something?" She turns to the monkey and beckons it closer. "Sorry I scared you, hon." Pausing briefly to pick up her transformed daughter, she turns to you and says, "Just in case you wonder - yes, I did see her change."
"Guess your day beats mine then."
"It's not over yet. And don't talk of beating, you may give me ideas! How long does this last anyway? Do you have more wishes?"
"Twenty-four hours. Or about twenty-three and a half by now. And I have unlimited wishes but can't use one to undo a previous one. Besides I left the lamp at the store."
"That one?" Turning in the direction Tinsel points with her free hand, you are only slightly surprised to see the lamp standing on the table next to you. Looks like it has a magical way of keeping up with you. Handy if you ever become unable to carry things... Whoa! Don't get distracted now.
"That's the one. But I can't make an other wish for about half an..."
"But I can!" Tinsel almost throws the transformed girl to you, grabs the lamp and rubs it energetically. You are only expecting the glowing digits, so you are quite surprised to see the genie appear in a puff of smoke.
"No you can't," he says, jumping straight into the conversation. He must have heard you from inside the lamp or wherever he was... "I only grant my owner's wishes."
"What if I buy the lamp from him?"
"Nice try, but it has to be done by the rules. The lamp can not change hands while a wish is active. It can only have one owner, who can only get rid of it by selling it for less than he gave for it."
"But it was a free sample!"
"Well, that's a problem then. And no, the solution is not to pay someone to take it from you. Doesn't work that way I'm afraid."
"So I just have to watch my words for the rest of my life then?"
"More or less. By the way, I misinterpreted you on purpose."
"What?!"
"You see, genies often have problems with their masters speaking ambiguously, so we try to train them to speak clearly. Call this lesson one."
"Well, I have a wish that doesn't need magic," Tinsel grumbles. "Whatever you need to demonstrate next, keep my daughter out of it!"
Written by Won-Tolla on 26 July 2007
More fun than a barrel...
The genie bows and disappears into a cloud of smoke that sucks itself back into the old lamp. Your sister-in-law glares at you while your brother looks like he's coming out of his state of shock.
"Look," you say, realizing this is all your fault, "I realize this is all my fault. Why not let me take Isabelle here home with me for a day? You two can have a nice, relaxing evening without the kid, and I'll have her back tomorrow once the magic has worn off. Sound good?"
Your brother Wayne and his wife Tina exchange a meaningful Look. There's a lot of negotiations going on between them in their facial expressions, and for a moment you just watch, fascinated, at the level of nuance possible in non-verbal communications between a married couple. Your musings are interrupted by a three-year-old chimpanzee screaming in your ear.
"EEEEK EEEEEE!"
"Gaah!" you cry out as you flinch at the sound. Fortunately, you have enough semblance of parental instinct to not drop Isabelle.
Wayne and Tinsel share another Look. Tinsel turns to look at you witheringly. She starts to open her mouth as if to say something, stops, then gives Wayne one final Look before turning around and entering the house with a slam of the kitchen door. The door slam gets Isabelle excited again, and now she's wriggling like mad and trying to climb up onto your head.
"Ow!" you wince as she pulls your hair. "S-"tupid monkey, you almost say. "-sssstop that!" you say instead. After a few minutes of twisting and making reassuring noises, you get Belle back into your arms. Wayne just watched the whole time, probably doing the older-brother thing where he waits to see if you're up to the task you're going to be taking on. Stupid older brothers.
Finally, once Isabelle stops monkeying around, Wayne steps towards you. "Don't let anything happen to her." he says directly to your ear, the implied 'or else' carrying a lot of big-brotherly weight. You swallow hard as Wayne turns to join Tina inside.
"Have fun," he says before disappearing into the house.
"Yeah," you say, wondering which of you is going to have the least fun tonight. You have a pretty good guess when Isabelle starts pulling on your ear. "You too."
You manage to get home with Belle without any real incidents. Walking the twenty-minute hike home with Isabelle monkey-hugging you all the way was actually kinda nice. Who knew that three-year-old chimpanzee nieces could be so... not awful. Maybe you can just put her to sleep, and this whole thing will be over before you know it!
You're home for not more than ten minutes before you hear it. You leave your niece alone for only a few seconds when...
*CRASH!*
Oh no...
Written by on 08 August 2007
Wish Clarification
You notice that you can now make your second wish.
Thinking hard you come up with one that can solve all your problems.
"I wish that by being a monkey's uncle it meant that I donated money to save monkeys and thus became their adopted uncle."
The genie then appears and says granted.
You notice a certificate on your wall saying "adopted monkey uncle."
You look over to Belle and notice that she is human again but is covered in flour.
Written by catprog on 08 December 2007
The end (for now)