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More fun than a barrel...

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The genie bows and disappears into a cloud of smoke that sucks itself back into the old lamp. Your sister-in-law glares at you while your brother looks like he's coming out of his state of shock.

 

"Look," you say, realizing this is all your fault, "I realize this is all my fault. Why not let me take Isabelle here home with me for a day? You two can have a nice, relaxing evening without the kid, and I'll have her back tomorrow once the magic has worn off. Sound good?"

 

Your brother Wayne and his wife Tina exchange a meaningful Look. There's a lot of negotiations going on between them in their facial expressions, and for a moment you just watch, fascinated, at the level of nuance possible in non-verbal communications between a married couple. Your musings are interrupted by a three-year-old chimpanzee screaming in your ear.

 

"EEEEK EEEEEE!"

 

"Gaah!" you cry out as you flinch at the sound. Fortunately, you have enough semblance of parental instinct to not drop Isabelle.

 

Wayne and Tinsel share another Look. Tinsel turns to look at you witheringly. She starts to open her mouth as if to say something, stops, then gives Wayne one final Look before turning around and entering the house with a slam of the kitchen door. The door slam gets Isabelle excited again, and now she's wriggling like mad and trying to climb up onto your head.

 

"Ow!" you wince as she pulls your hair. "S-"tupid monkey, you almost say. "-sssstop that!" you say instead. After a few minutes of twisting and making reassuring noises, you get Belle back into your arms. Wayne just watched the whole time, probably doing the older-brother thing where he waits to see if you're up to the task you're going to be taking on. Stupid older brothers.

 

Finally, once Isabelle stops monkeying around, Wayne steps towards you. "Don't let anything happen to her." he says directly to your ear, the implied 'or else' carrying a lot of big-brotherly weight. You swallow hard as Wayne turns to join Tina inside.

 

"Have fun," he says before disappearing into the house.

 

"Yeah," you say, wondering which of you is going to have the least fun tonight. You have a pretty good guess when Isabelle starts pulling on your ear. "You too."

 

You manage to get home with Belle without any real incidents. Walking the twenty-minute hike home with Isabelle monkey-hugging you all the way was actually kinda nice. Who knew that three-year-old chimpanzee nieces could be so... not awful. Maybe you can just put her to sleep, and this whole thing will be over before you know it!

 

You're home for not more than ten minutes before you hear it. You leave your niece alone for only a few seconds when...

 

*CRASH!*

 

Oh no...

 

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Written by on 08 August 2007

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